We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
