You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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