So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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