so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
