So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
