Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
