He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
