ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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