he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
