gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
