How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
