i already hear my dad disowning me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
