Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
