READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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