I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
