i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
