This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
