considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
