can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
