Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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