Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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