my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
