Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
