My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
They have beer where we have blood.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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