Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
