1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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