do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
