I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
