but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
