Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
