when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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