May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
