If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
