Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
