I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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