how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
