The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
