I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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