I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Randomize
