I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
