Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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