cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
