Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have post one night stand depression
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