he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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