Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
