Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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