I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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