i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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