Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
