theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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