32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
